Up again

My posts are getting less exciting. What can I tell ya? It's 3:30 and I'm up, sitting in the dark, typing. Layla woke up and despite a quick binkie and blankie, she was really upset. So I gave her teething tablets and changed her diaper (about to explode, weighed 2 lbs). Still so unhappy. So I broke down and nursed and rocked her back to sleep which I'm not supposed to do in order to encourage her sleeping through the night. Since she finally nursed a little last night for the first time in 2 days, I felt like trying it again. I had to FORCE her yesterday. It's like she wanted it but could allow herself to have it. I'm convinced my hormonal changes are making the milk taste different and that's why she's not having it. She was able to nurse fine just now though. Maybe she's over it.

So now I'm awake and can't go back to sleep. I tried to do a little work, but I need files at the office that I can't do the work without. Cary got back from Georgia today. It was pretty rough taking care of Layla on my own. Plus Mom and Dad are super sick, Dad with pneumonia, so I can't get help from them. The last week has been particularly exhausting.

I've been trying to make attempts at planning get togethers with friends. Just quickie lunch or breakfasts. More often than not, it gets postponed but I keep trying. I want to take Groundlings classes again but I don't have a reliable baby sitter. Cary's work is unpredictable and my Mom's schedule is too. I need to schedule a hair cut and dentist visit, but I've had to cancel when I've made appointments. These little normal, back to life, activities are eluding me. It's been 8 months almost. Shouldn't I have my shit back together yet? Shouldn't it be easier to just leave Layla somewhere with someone?

I'm hungry. Maybe I'll munch on something and go back to bed. This has got to be, by far, the most boring post ever. Oh well. At least I'm posting, right?