Got gripe?

As with all the wonderful, happy, new, interesting, good stuff that I post for journaling sake, it's important to not forget things that suck too. One, so that when the sucky stuff is in the past I can be grateful that it is in the past.  And, two, so that I can get the gripes off my chest in the present, so then right now can suck a little less. Maybe?

Working Mom, April 15, 2010

This picture was taken last year. I remember taking it and feeling sort of super-mom like. I felt like I owned motherhood for one  of the first times. I was on my way to work (and daycare). I'm holding my coffee, carrying my laptop bag, handbag, diaper bag, daycare bag, and my cargo pants pockets are full of who knows what. I've got Layla in the Baby Bjorn, dressed for school, with her binky in her mouth. We are on our way from our apartment door, getting to the elevator, to walk through the grassy courtyard, to get to the parking structure, to get into the car, to be buckled into the rear facing car seat, to hope that there is no melt down on the ~40 minute drive to work, with 6 binkies in the passenger seat in case Layla drops hers. At this point I was only taking her to daycare  on Tuesday and Thursdays. This meant that on Monday, Wednesday, and weekends, I would have to pump milk, wash and sterilize bottles and breast pump parts, store the milk, and check to make sure I had a surplus. Not to mention providing pureed organic foods. In addition, Layla was no where near sleeping through the night, so I was always exhausted, cranky, and never with enough help to get myself a hair cut, a dentist appointment, a doctor's appointment, mani/pedi, or time to read a magazine. If that sounds bad, it really was much worse.  If it doesn't sound bad, then stop reading.

I guess I'm writing this because I feel like shit again and forgot how much more often I used to feel like shit. I didn't sleep till 4:30 this morning. I heard the newspaper being delivered. That's how late I was up. So I got barely 3 hours of sleep, I'm at work, and I'm wondering when it gets better, or IF it gets better. Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself.  I'm definitely grateful that I get more sleep more often. Though Layla started waking up during the night because she's super congested these days, poor thing. I got used to getting sleep, so going back to this kind of sleep habit is rough.

This 5 days of work thing isn't so bad, it's the part where I'm in charge of getting Layla to and from school every day, and by myself. Cary walks me to the car every morning now, so I never have to carry all that stuff alone like in that picture. Except now there is the added challenge of chasing Layla everywhere, which is tough when you're late or in a hurry and don't want her running in the parking structure. So going to and from our piece of shit apartment is always a resentment inducing effort. Can you hear my crankiness or what?

I'm just bummed because I haven't read a new book since before Layla was born. I reread the whole Harry Potter series while nursing, but that doesn't count because I read it while I was half asleep, and I had already read it 2 times, and that was more than a year ago. I'm bummed because I haven't gone out with Cary in over a month. I'm bummed because I went out with girlfriends only twice  in the last 6 weeks.  I'm bummed because I  haven't seen a movie since last year. I'm bummed because of Japan, because of Libya,   because our cleaning lady with a work permit might get deported even though she was mugged and beaten last year (trying to help her, I'm seriously worrying about her), because of this line cook at my friend's restaurant who's wife left him and his 3 kids and he makes $9.50 an hour and pays $5/hour for baby sitting while he works 16 hours a day, 6 days a week, and just wants to take his kids to the zoo. I'm bummed because we are still in our piece of shit apartment, yet our house keeper and this line cook could fit two of their apartments in my apartment, and it's in a safe neighborhood at least, sort of. So I'm both displeased with things, and feeling guilty because it could be much much worse.

Every time I list something that bums me out, this voice in my head reminds me of things to be grateful for. I really am grateful for all of the things being whispered in my head. I just need to have at it with some gripes and bitching and get it off my chest. Maybe I'm PMSing or knocked up. Or maybe I just have reason to be pissy. I'll have to look back on this in a couple years and decide.

I would like to close this by mentioning my good friend Kasey had her 3rd baby yesterday. He weighed in at a whopping 10 lbs 1 oz!!! I'm am way way grateful that they are healthy and doing well. Oh yeah, the lumps in my neck went away. Oh yeah, my Dad just got back from a (disastrous) business trip safe and sound. My aunt just walked into the office, back from having some dental bone biopsied, and I hope I get to report to be grateful for that being OK.

I don't feel good about this post and am considering not posting it because it is negative, and complainy, and personal. But it's honest and very stream-of-thought. I think it will have some retrospective value at some point, I hope, maybe. So here goes.....

New Addition

I added a tag called "Last Year At This Time" since I didn't blog last year and have lots of fun things to remember. I'm starting by back-blogging and adding pictures from Europe. So even though all the Euro-pics are dates from April and May, I added them today. I know, that's sort of cheating. Whatever.

Pictures from G&Mers+1 to come later.

LYATT: Day 7 - Se fin?

May 5, 2007

(Happy Birthday, Christine)

One major difference between the lifestyle in Paris vs. LA is that you walk a lot more in Paris and don't spend as much time in your car like you do in LA. Another big difference is that since you're out and about a lot more, you'll need to find a public bathroom when nature calls.

If you're a parent with a little kid, and the kid's gotta go, and there is nowhere nearby to go, you gotta do watcha gotta do.

Cary and I were reading the map on the side of the metro stop and noticed this dad, helping his little son pee in the gutter from the sidewalk - right in front of us. So I couldn't help but take my camera out and snap a quick picture. They were so fast, I only got 1 picture. Don't worry, no kid junk is shown.

The best was when I heard the dad ask "se fin? se fin?" (all done? all done?) then he shook the kid to get the last few drops out and said "viola!" and zipped him up and they were gone. You can see the splashed puddle that formed on the street. I can't tell you how much I loved capturing this moment. I was cracking up for the next hour over this. Cary thinks I'm a nut, but I think he digs that so it's cool.
Cary likes to dress like French mannequins. He's very stylish.
I think the reason I had been given the opportunity to come to Paris, was entirely because I needed to meet the French macaroon. Pure heaven. My favorite all time dessert. I can't imagine ever loving any other sweet treat as much.

I thought these were pretty. They are made of marzipan, but look so real.

LYATT:Day 6 in Paris, Palais de Tokio

May 4, 2007

One of the most off the wall museums I've ever been to, was Palais de Tokio. There was one particular installation that consisted of a room filled with a floor with rolled out cotton, an assortment of molded and rotting stuff, and live birds flying around. So it was constantly evolving. Everything from the wall art, to the floor installations, to the dangling couch that had been dipped in chocolate.

This is here is a real bird standing next to what looks like a charred chicken. The wall in the background, is some sort of smeared tiles of organic material that were partially molded. I'm talking blue fuzz.
The dinosaur looking skeletal sculpture was made of dog biscuits. The trash bins in the background had foam coming out the top and spilling over. Here's a stack of squeezed oranges. Rotting. No joke.
This is a close-up of the wall, which I think was made ofcarrot pulp smeared into tile-like shapes, and rotting with mold of course.
This is a whole couch, small end table, and lamp, all dipped in chocolate and hanging over the ground, and molded of course. The spots on the wall are all mold.

This has nothing to do with the museum. We were walking home and came across this shop with ham hocks and other animal parts. This was the window display.

LYATT: Fifth Day in Paris-Mawble Columns

May 3, 2007

(Happy Birthday, Mom)

So does anyone remember that sketch on Saturday Night Love with Fred Armisen and Scarlett Johanson about Mawble Calumns (marble columns) from April 2007?


It aired the weekend before we left for Europe and we were very moved by the piece. Here is Mike's Marbleopolis' influence on us:

You've got to go out and get yo'self a mawble calumn! Like this one...

...or this one......or that one......a little too much?
By the end of our trip to the Louvre, I was posing like this in front of everything. Even if it wasn't a mawble calumn.

LYATT: Fourth Day in Paris

May 2, 2007
This adorable shop was half way down an alley you could have easily walked by and not noticed. Since we saw all of the must-see sites during this trip, the next time I go to Paris, I will spend more time wandering down unnoticed alley's. That was my favorite part.

I don't know what we were thinking when we ordered this. It looked fun. We could barely finish half of it. It's a giant tray of mostly raw shellfish on ice. I love me some raw oysters, something fierce. But a gi-normous tray of this is a little too much.

How cool to find an old poster painting of Cassius Le Grand in a smokey bar in Paris.

LYATT: Third Day in Paris

May 1, 2007

We walked to Montmarte and just did our usual wandering around on the way there and back. We also walked through Pigalle and the Moulin Rouge. There was a long line of goth looking kids waiting to get in, I'm not sure what concert was playing, but it was funny how goth is goth where ever you go.
More graffiti.

We were there during the last days of campaigning for the new president of France. There were posters for Royal and Sarkozy everywhere. You see many more bumper stickers for presidential candidates in the US than posters like this all over the city. This caught my eye. Gas pump on the sidewalk, not in a gas station.

LYATT: Second Day in Paris

April 30, 2007

This particular graffiti art was all over Paris. Different colored hands coming out of manholes, sewers, random orifices in the sidewalk. I had to take a picture everytime.

I thought about taking a picture of every American franchise we walked by, but what for? This one looked worthwhile with all the pizza delivery bikes lined up.

I miss Paris. You can't really tell, I hope, but I was so super hangry and tired in this picture. We were jet lagged and had walked for hours that day. I was holding Cary back, he could have walked all day and not stopped to rest or eat. Like a kid at Disneyland. Paris is like a giant Disneyland for adults.

LYATT: First Full Day in Paris

So I'm going to start a new thing called "Last Year At This Time" (LYATT). It will feature, um, hmmm, pictures from Last Year At This Time.

April 29, 2007

Cary and my first full day in Paris. These are things we saw:

Zoolbia! I couldn't believe a stack of zoolbia was sitting out in the open. In LA, you have to know where to go to get zoolbia, its not displayed in the window of a pastry shop on a high foot-traffic area. I kept an eye out for bamieh, but no luck.

We were walking along the river from St. Germaine going west and it got really quiet and the street was suddenly empty. We were so jet-lagged that it didn't phase us. But then suddenly, boom! Hundreds, if not a few thousand, of euro bladers came exploding down the street. I've never seen such a mass of bladers like this in my life. I never found out if it was a marathon, or a Saturday morning Parisian thing, but it was fun.

Toward the end of the day, my dogs were barking from walking all the way from St. Germaine to the near end of Champs-Elysees. Plus I was a little hangry. But when I saw the office for Iran Air, I perked up. Between national airline of my motherland and the zoolbia, I felt like I belonged.